Byer's Basic Blog

just call us the Tunkhannock Times

Archive for February, 2006

Help me out with an answer

Posted by joelbyer on February 28, 2006

Does the title of this blog “Byer’s Basic Blog” show animated fire on your browser or does it only show a still shot?
I almost always use the Firefox browser, but tonight I checked the Internet Explorer and it just showed a still graphic.
Let me know!

Also, check out why I’m speed-reading through the Bible by clicking here.

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Diaper woes

Posted by joelbyer on February 28, 2006

Today Jen had to take Jeffrey in to town as well as do grocery shopping so I was home with Janessa…who chose to do one of the nastiest diaper jobs known in the history of modern mankind. I have forgiven her though, even if she did it on purpose.
I think it was a conspiracy.
I find it a lot easier now to believe that bankers rule the world, and that Elvis is still alive.

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Weird Stuff

Posted by joelbyer on February 27, 2006

Weird blog of the day – other than mine of course:
Ribeiro (a hamster owned by my very mature
and sane younger brother) muses on life after death

Weird story of the day:
Lady wins grilled cheese eating contest

Weird photo of the day…well check it out!

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Just ridin’ through town and stopped on by…

Posted by joelbyer on February 27, 2006


Just ridin’ through town and stopped on by…

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"They will be talking about it in 50 years. They will be talking about it in 250 years"

Posted by joelbyer on February 25, 2006

– Toby McDonald
The Canadian mens curling coach after his team won the Olympic gold.

Huh?
Curling?
Some people really get carried away!

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Example #257 of mother-in-law abuse

Posted by joelbyer on February 24, 2006

My mother-in-law sent me this e-mail this morning. After BBB has observed a strict mother-in-law joke ban for a month, she should feel ashamed.

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Friday, March 3, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL

OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself?

Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor

Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 4

After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 5

Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places

And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

Open Forum . Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 6

Health Watch — Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 7

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 8

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 9

Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.

Online Classes and role-playing . Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 10

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion

Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 11

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 12

The Stove/Oven — What It Is and How It Is Used.

Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,

diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Love,

MIL XO

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Time for lunch! (Jeff’s favorite pastime)

Posted by joelbyer on February 23, 2006


Time for lunch! (Jeff’s favorite pastime)

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Say it ain’t so

Posted by joelbyer on February 22, 2006

Ovechkin leads Russia to victory over Canada
Well, well…at least we still rule in skeleton

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My Pastoral Blog

Posted by joelbyer on February 21, 2006

As most of you know, the postings in this blog range from half-deranged to full-blown insane. Occasionally, I post a nice family picture, but more often then not, I deal with such serious issues as Canada’s medals in skeleton, Pepsi-drinking monkeys, and Vice-presidents with errant shotguns. (Hey! At least I’m diverse.)
However, starting today, I will from time to time be posting my thoughts on various religious issues in my Pastoral Blog.
So when my “humour” makes you grit your teeth and involuntarily groan with agony, check out my postings on my other blog.

– And no, I don’t have a split personality. 🙂

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Mighty Canadian military makes its move

Posted by joelbyer on February 20, 2006

Five Canadian warships set to train with U.S. Navy
All you Americans out there beware. The mighty Canadian navy is set to move. With the vaunted HMCS Montreal, Ville de Quebec, Summerside, Moncton and Preserver as well as our 1 operational sub, this will be a massive military endeavour. (internal memo: what! we only have 1 operational sub???? Must not let Americans know. Delete this line before publishing)

Update: I guess our Hercules aircraft aren’t living up to their name

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1..2..3! (mom had to take the picture)

Posted by joelbyer on February 19, 2006


1..2..3! (mom had to take the picture)

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10 of the Planet’s Funniest One Liners – B

Posted by joelbyer on February 18, 2006

Never answer an anonymous letter.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

You can’t have everything; where would you put it?

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

DNA: National Dyslexic Association.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

DARE to keep cops off donuts.

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